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Why do people enjoy BDSM?

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BDSM is certainly not for everybody but the simple fact is that someone who has an affinity for this kind of lifestyle will never be truly be satisfied and fulfilled in a vanilla relationship.

Now not everybody who enjoys aspects of this lifestyle walks around all day long in leathers and latex and can only enjoy sex and intimacy by beating someone up or getting beaten up.

And very few people who seriously enjoy BDSM activities have anything in common with Christian Grey & 50 Shades. These books in my mind has been written by an author who was seeking to exploit a market for financial gain while having little but academic interest in the subject.

So lets set the record straight – there a more than one shade of BDSM.

You do get people who are not even interested in sex but just the stereotypical activities associated with this lifestyle … they are almost always in character. But in my experience these people are by far the minority.

Most people who are fascinated by spanking, restraints etc. do this once in a while to spice their sex-lives up. We quite enjoy vanilla sex as well.

But every now and then we love pushing things a bit further in order to experience heightened senses.

Now why do I say that BDSM heighten the senses?

It is simple physiology. A skillful domme will make adrenaline and dopamine flood through the sub’s body. Think of it as the equivalent of skydiving and having sex while in the air.

That is the best way for me to describe it.

There is a further dimension to it. The sub relinquish control and more importantly the expectation to do anything in return to pleasure the domme.

Imagine … you are tied up helplessly and your domme is taking you through a journey of discovery where all the attention is on you and the sensations that you are experiencing.

Nothing else matters in that moment.

You do not have to worry about your performance and whether you are giving your partner pleasure. You don’t have to worry about how long it will take to make your partner cum … or whether he or she will cum.

You are on a roller-coaster ride where all you can do is hold on for dear life and go along with the ride.

Doesn’t that sound appealing?

And if you are the domme you get off on the knowledge that you are giving all of this pleasure to another human being. Quite a kick, don’t you think?

And in case you were wondering … I switch. Best of both worlds for me:)

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Original answer with images and comments can be found HERE on Quora

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